After my husbands Grandmother passed away, leaving a measly four people to sort through her mountain of things, it really makes you think about the stupid crap people will keep. Something people didn't know about my oh-so-loving grandmother-in-law was that she was a hoarder.
Not as bad as those people on that t.v. show where they can't walk through their house, but still a huge task for the four of us to tackle. And even worse, we have no clue what we're doing most of the time, we don't know what's trash, keep, valuable. To me, someone on the outside of the bloodline, it all looks like a bunch of crap. Kind of like just light a match and roast marshmallows while singing campfire songs.
Sadly, we can't do that. Instead we have to go through everything....EVERYTHING. I know I'm supposed to be sympathetic to my husband and his uncle, who just lost a important person in their lives, but it's hard to feel sorry for someone when I'm elbow deep in grandma panties that they are telling me I should put in the donate pile. Who the hell buys used underwear from the thrift store? I mean really, I know people will buy anything but gross, stained underwear?
If you can get passed the odd requests of donate-able items then you have to deal with people that knew her, wanting a memento. To most that's no big deal, especially with the amount of stuff that is trying to bust through the walls, but when someone says something like "Can I have something to remember her by, anything...has anyone claimed her pots yet?" Pots...you want to remember her every time you cook? What kind of messed up person comes up to a grieving, exhausted family and says can I have her pots? Needless to say that idiot did not get any pots, she left empty handed, I guess she better hope her memories last.
When you get passed all that nonsense then you have to deal with the crazy things you find.
In a dresser in the master bedroom I found:
-A drawer filled to the top with expired flower seeds (yes they expire.)
-A wind chime.
-A set of dishes.
-So many picture frames I can open up an art gallery.
-Enough baby pictures of my husband to wallpaper the whole house.
-Signed Titles to three cars and the house. (Lucky)
-Gobs of Christmas cards.
That was in one dresser! I was trying to figure out how she had room for clothes with all that in there but don't worry she found a way.
I guess at least it's entertaining because you never know what you're going to find: Speeding tickets from '05. Never cashed checks from '07. Calendars from every year ranging from '91 - '14. All the food in the pantry was expired, most since '08. You can't help but laugh and wonder how much you were poisoned when she fed you.
Mostly I just question why she kept some of the things that she did. I have found so many broken things shoved into drawers, at first I would ask why, but now I just shake my head and throw it away. Before any of this I would look at that Hoarders show and say how could anyone live like that?
Now I question not only how can they live like that but also, how can they do that to their families? At the time they don't think about it but when they die it becomes their families problem. It's so overwhelming to me and she wasn't even my blood relative.
Why do older people think everyone needs to have kids? Why is it so hard for them to believe a young woman has no desire to have children? Especially after you get married, I have never heard so many people ask me about having kids until I said, I do.
I don't want kids, I've never really been a kid person. We have a mutual dislike for each other. I know it's hard for my large family to deal with, me not wanting children. And I do sometimes have a small twinge of guilt, when I see my Dad play with my dog and I think about how he would be such a good grandpa. Unfortunately that's not enough for me to have children.
I already had the "you're being selfish," thrown at me a time or two when I told someone, actually I believe that was from my Dad. It hurts when people tell you things like that about a decision you've made. It's almost like they would rather you have children and regret it than to live the way you want.
A lot of people have told me "you'll change your mind when you get older," no I really don't think I will. I have never liked kids, I've never had a fascination with babies either. When my sister sees a young child she always gushes over them, not me. I sit there and hope it doesn't see me.
My Mom is the same way as me, she said she loves her kids but she doesn't get goo goo eyed at any other child she sees. She is actually one of the few that told me not to have kids. My grandma and me next door neighbor told me not to have them if I absolutely did not want them. And I agree with them, unless I magically change my mind I should not have any. Because I know myself and I really think I would regret and maybe even resent them.
I don't have a perfect body now but I workout regularly and I'm getting more and more comfortable in my own skin, a child would wreck havoc on my body. I don't know if I could get over that. Someone told me I wouldn't even think about it but I think they were lying. As much as I put into getting my body this way, there's no way I could NOT care about it being mushy and even more full of stretch marks. With my anxiety as it is now, I would get Postpartum depression. Is that really how people want me to start my life with children? By being depressed?
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