I was one of those people that didn’t view myself as good enough to call myself a writer. I was afraid if I told people I was a writer they would expect me to succeed and that terrified me.
What if I never finished my book? What if I couldn’t get published? Then of all those people that I told would know, they would know I was a failure. I would always say I was just a housewife because I didn’t want anyone to know in case I failed. Then something amazing happened. My husband starting telling people that I was a writer.
For some reason him telling people my unconventional career choice made me see myself differently. When he started to say it, it made me feel more like I could succeed one day. I needed someone to believe in me enough to call me a writer to believe in myself. You are only a failure if you give up, right? But I still wasn’t comfortable enough to tell the world I was a writer but I started to tell people I met (new neighbors, new dentist and doctor, my dog). Of course, my family knew whether they believed I would be successful or not is another story. I think some of my family believed I can be successful the others probably thought this was a crazy phase.
With my online groups I would say I was an aspiring author or writer. I guess, in my mind I couldn’t be an author unless I was published. Then people started to tell me differently. People started to tell me as long as I was writing then I was a writer. I still didn’t believe them. Then authors started to tell me that. Authors started telling me of their failures at getting an agent and getting published and it finally started sinking in. If all of them had given up because they believed they had failed then I wouldn’t have gotten to read their books.
So I finally started to listen to all of them. It finally started to click in my brain. Just because I haven’t finished my book yet doesn’t make me any less of a writer. Every great writer had to start somewhere and though I have just started I am still a writer. I know I may fall from time to time but that’s just part of the journey. I am very determined and because of that I will not fail.