When I first started this blog I never thought anyone would read it. I never thought authors would ask me to review their books, I never thought I would have months worth of books to review. I never thought I would be interviewing talented authors. I never thought I would meet (online) such amazing people that I have begun to consider my friends. I never thought I would have subscribers and that I would subscribe to other blogs. I never thought I would have people wanting to interview me and nominating me for awards.
I never thought any of this would happen.
I started this blog for myself. I wanted to talk about books that I was reading and maybe rant about what was going on in my life. Again I never imagined anyone reading it other than myself and maybe my mom and husband from time to time. But now I know that I have readers out there in the world. I have people subscribing to read things that I’m reviewing, to read things I’m ranting about. I’m interacting with people online that I never would have met otherwise. This girl that has horrible social anxiety is talking to people she doesn’t know on a daily basis now.
As happy as all this has made me it’s hindering me in other aspects of my life.
My blog has completely taken over my life!
The more books I get to review the less I get to read books that I’ve been waiting to read for months. The more my schedule fills up the less time I have for anything else. In my efforts to be overly nice to all the authors that wanted my help getting their books out there, I have myself so bogged down with pending reviews, that I haven’t been writing my own book. For those of you that don’t know, I want to be a published author more than anything else. But lately, my writing has come to a standstill.
Instead of telling someone “No, I don’t want to read your book because it doesn’t sound like something I will like.” I say YES. I don’t want to hurt people that I don’t know so I read books that I normally wouldn’t read, some have surprised me and I ended up loving it. But that’s not always the case. Now that is starting to mess with me because I can only read so many books that I don’t really want to read before I snap. Also, I need to write my own book. I need to create my own stories. I have all these stories of my own that need to be told but I can’t do that if everyone else wants me to read their creations instead.
I’m not giving up on my blog! I’ve worked way too hard on it to just let it go. I’ve made too many connections with amazing people to walk away now. I’m just saying that I need to slow down with reviews. I’ll do the ones that I have promised to do this year, but I’m going to start reading books I want to read too. I’m going to start putting MY book first. I apologize if this is too whiny but I needed to let authors know that their books are no longer my priority. Because their books will not pay my bills, though I am grateful for every one of them. I have to put myself first now.